Born Yet Again
by littlefallenseraph
Summary: Castiel dies and is resurrected again, but this time it's not so easy to get his memories back. Rated T for Language.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

"_I see now it's a punishment resurrection. It's worse every time…"_

These words, his own words, rang in Castiel's ears as he lay helpless on the ground. He briefly wondered if this would be his last life, or if he would come back again, worse than before. As Dean and Sam continued to fight the fallen angel, Castiel felt his newly human body bleeding out, losing more and more blood with every beat of his heart.

"Dean," he choked out, coughing up blood. Maybe Dean would come to his rescue as he had so many times before. Their relationship was one of give and take, of rescuer and rescuee. Castiel had come to accept that. He had come to accept that, on occasion, he needed to be saved. He prayed to his long gone father that Dean would hear him.

"Dean…" he choked again, but just as Sam plunged the archangel blade into the fallen angel's heart, Castiel's life slipped away.

Dean pulled himself off the ground and dusted off his jacket. "You all right, Sammy?"

"Yea, just peachy." Sam smiled.

"Cas?" Dean turned to where he had last seen Cas standing. All he saw was a crumpled and bloodied man. "Cas!" He rushed to Cas's side, checking for any sign that he was okay. "Cas?" Dean frantically shook his best friend's shoulders, "C'mon, buddy. Wake up!"

Dean didn't know when Sam joined him, but he was also speaking to Cas in an attempt to wake him. Dean lost track of how long they tried before reality set in. Cas was still holding an archangel blade to his gut.

Sam checked Cas's pulse.

Dean wiped the blood from under Cas's slack mouth.

The both looked into Cas's vacant eyes for a long time before Dean leaned forward and closed them. "Dammit, Cas," he said to himself.


	2. Lost In Transition

Castiel watched Sam and Dean for a long time. He watched as they mourned over his lifeless body. He watched as they carried it to the impala and laid it gingerly in the back seat, as if they believed that maybe he would come back, so they needed to take care of it for him. He watched as they removed his coat and put it in the trunk under their weapons. Finally, he watched as they drove back to the cabin, gathered firewood, and made a funeral pyre.

"Could-could Cas even become a ghost?" Sam asked as they built, struggling already with Cas's name.

"I don't know," Dean responded somberly, without inflection. Robotic. "But he deserves a hunter's funeral either way."

"But Dean, what if—" Sam began.

Dean interrupted, "I don't think he's coming back this time, Sammy. I know you want to think that and believe me so do I, but…" he paused, taking a moment to gather his thoughts, "…I mean let's face it. God hardly gave a crap about any of us before. Now that the apocalypse is over and Cas isn't an angel anymore…why would God give a crap about us now?"

Sam looked down to his feet. "I guess you're right."

Dean and Sam placed his body on the pyre and lit it, and they all watched it burn. All three had tears in their eyes. Castiel stood next to his best friends, his brothers. As he watched the flames lick his face, consume his hair and clothes, he thought back on his life. Since the beginning of time his job had been to obey: to obey his superiors, even to obey the father he had never known. Then they ordered him to rescue Dean from hell and everything changed.

He saw humans for all of their beauty and he began to feel as he had never thought someone like him could. He fought for the humans, for their freedom and for his own. He came to love them. Above all he loved these two extraordinary men who had taken him in as family and had been at his side no matter what. All they wanted was the best for him. In the end, Castiel realized, they had been his true family. Not his angel brothers; not even his father. He placed a hand on each of the Winchester's shoulders and let go.

Dean thought he heard a familiar flutter of wings and he spun around, expecting to see an angel. In the year since The Fall, Dean had never heard an angel but he would have sworn on Sam's life that an angel was with them just a few seconds before.

"Dean? What is it?" Sam asked.

"I thought…" Dean sputtered. "Nothing. I just thought I felt…something."

"Dean…" Sam hesitated, "…are you gonna be okay?" Though he regretted it a second later because of the tortured look on Dean's face and no, he was not going to be okay, no matter what he said.

Dean saw the regret on Sam's face. Of course he was forgiven and Dean tried not to show him the pain he was feeling. "Of course I'll be okay, Sammy. You know me," he forced a smile and walked back into the cabin without another word.

Sam heard the door slam behind Dean as he walked into the cabin. He really wished he hadn't said anything. He knew very well what would happen now. Dean would hide his feelings away, maybe for months. In the meantime, he would become obsessed with work, with saving as many people as possible to try to make up for Castiel's death—as if there would have been anything Dean could have done to save him (Sam had never quite been able to drill into Dean's head that he didn't have to and couldn't save everyone).

Then, finally, in one giant binge of booze, it would catch up to him, and Sam would be left to clean up the drunken wreck that resulted. But for right now, Sam had learned, the only thing to do was go along with Dean's act until he had time to work it out for himself.

As Dean lay in bed that night, he thought about Cas. He thought about everything they had been through together. Bobby's words echoed in his head: "You just lost one of the best friends you ever had…" He didn't want to think about it, but it was true. And he knew that for the next few weeks, he wasn't going to be okay. But it would be okay eventually…right?


	3. A Mystery Named Noah

It had been 8 weeks since Cas's death, and things hadn't been the same since. Sam and Dean had done 15 jobs. It was more than they'd ever done in such a short time and they were dying of exhaustion. They were relaxing in the car, Dean was snoring with his head to the side and drool dribbling down his chin and Sam was sitting awake, staring at the dash.

It had been 8 weeks since Castiel had died, and Dean still hadn't come to terms with it. He was still laughing and joking and pretending to smile. They were working nonstop and they were killing themselves. He wanted to talk to Dean and have one of their "healing talks", but he couldn't bring himself to wake Dean up, and whenever Dean was awake it was easy to get lost in the jokes and the smiles. It was easy to pretend Dean really was okay.

Just then, Dean muttered, "Cas, where the hell have you been…" in his sleep and that was it for Sam. He was going to let Dean sleep now, God knew he needed it, but he would talk to Dean about Castiel soon. Whenever he could.

* * *

It had been 8 weeks since Noah had been admitted to the hospital in Florence, Oregon. Eight weeks ago, he had wandered (naked, unfortunately) out into the middle of a street and was hit by a car. Luckily, the man driving the car was a doctor at a hospital nearby and, since the injuries weren't severe enough to necessitate and ambulance, they drove there.

Upon arrival the doctor, Dr. Heisman, discovered no form of identification and no fingerprint on file. The mysterious John Doe didn't remember anything about his life, not even his name or how old he was. After he had been given a clean bill of health, other than amnesia, he went to stay with Dr. Heisman and his wife, both of whom were very kind, and he would go to the hospital every day to volunteer in the children's ward.

One day he was reading to a little girl named Annie—one of Noah's favorites—who had been in the hospital getting treatment for leukemia. She picked out a picture book version of Noah's Ark. He was doing different voices for all the characters, and for some reason, all the children in the ward decided they liked his "Noah" voice—a deep, gravelly voice—best, and he had been Noah ever since. John never seemed to fit right anyway.

In the 8 weeks since Noah had been in Florence, he had come to feel like part of the community. Every day, he worked in the children's ward and, even though he didn't remember if it was the most fulfilled he had ever been, he enjoyed working with the children. And even if he wasn't a doctor, his presence always seemed to lift their moods and conditions when he was there. He went on outings to the park and to the movies with Dr. and Mrs. Heisman. Noah really did have a great life, even though he couldn't remember any of what came before the new life he had started here.

* * *

Well that had crashed and burned. It had been a month since Sam had tried to talk to Dean about Castiel, and if things had been off before, they were definitely off now. All Dean did was work even more than before. He wouldn't talk to Sam other than to solve a case, which was a killer.

Dean really didn't feel like talking about it. He didn't understand why Sam thought it was so important that he relive the death of his best friend just for the sake of some stupid closure or whatever. "Hey Sam," he woke Sam roughly as he slept in the back seat, "I've found another job."

Sam sat up and rubbed his eyes, "Dude we just finished a job yesterday. Can we please take a break?"

"No, Sam, we can't take a break. This one's important."

"Yea it's always important, Dean," Sam muttered.

Dean was just about done with Sam's attitude, which had escalated since Dean had shot him down for his "feelings" talk a few weeks ago. "What did you just say to me?"

"I said, 'It's always important' Dean. I'm tired. We've worked so many jobs in the last three months that I've lost count. And none of them have gone particularly well. We've been arrested twice, almost arrested a dozen other times, and we haven't saved as many lives as we could have—".

"So what are you saying? That we've lost our touch or something?"

"No I'm saying that I think we should take a couple days to breathe. Seriously Dean, you look awful. Just take a couple days, okay? For me?"

Dean rolled his eyes and started the car. "Fine," he agreed, "a few days. But then we're going to look at this job, okay?"

"Thank you." Sam said as he moved into the front seat next to his brother. They started out on the road and Sam asked, "So what's this job anyway?"

"Some kids at this hospital in Oregon are mysteriously getting better."

"Well but isn't that a good thing?"

"Yea, but who knows. It could go south by the time we get there. Could be some kind of Pagan God that feeds off of health or something." Dean picked up the paper and tossed it to Sam.

Sam looked over the paper, reading the article Dean had circled aloud: "Annie Greenburg, age 9, miraculously recovers from leukemia." He frowned at the article. "Dean I'm not understanding where you see a job in this. Some girl recovers from leukemia, that's great news."

Dean glanced over at him, "Yea but since when do miracles happen?"

"All the time."

"Since the angels fell, Sam."

And that was when Sam saw it. Standing in the background of the photo for the paper, there was a man with dark hair sitting with another kid reading. "Dean."

"I just wanna check it out, okay, Sam?"

"No Dean…that's Cas..".

* * *

"How are you feeling today, Noah?" Dr. Heisman asked over coffee 12 weeks after Noah had mysteriously shown up.

"I feel great!" Noah said, only sipping at his own cup because of a headache he could feel coming on at the top of his head. "I was thinking I would go visit the terminal children today. I'm going to bring _Alice in Wonderland_. I know they all like that one."

"That sounds wonderful! How has your memory been coming along?"

"Not the best," Noah admitted. "I still only have blurry déjà vu every once in a while. And then there are all those weird dreams, but none of those can be true."

"And you still don't remember how you got to that street?"

Noah shook his head, "No, I still only remember that bright white light, which I've always assumed was your headlights. I don't remember how I got there."

"Well maybe something will jog your memory eventually." Dr. Heisman smiled and went back to his paper. "Oh and you heard about Annie, right? Completely went into remission. Gonzales is baffled, she can't figure out what went right. Not that she's not thrilled of course."

"Yea, I was at the hospital when they found out. She was absolutely beside herself. It's the first time she's been able to go home in almost four months. Even her hair is coming back faster than expected!" Noah, of course, was more excited for Annie than almost anyone else, having become so attached to her. "Speaking of," he remembered, "I'm thinking I might move out and get my own apartment soon."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah because I was thinking, Dr. Gonzales has offered me a position as a Child Therapy and Rehabilitation Assistant, so I could get my own apartment and everything no problem."

"Well, if you're ready for that then by all means." Thomas smiled again. "We don't want you to feel like we're keeping you hostage here or anything."

Rachel walked into the room behind Thomas and wrapped her arms around his waist. "What is this about holding you hostage, Noah?"

"I think I'm going to get my own apartment soon."

Rachel clapped and grinned, "That sounds like a marvelous idea! Of course, you are always welcome to stay here while you're looking."

"Thank you so much. I don't know what I'd have done without you two."

Thomas laughed, "Well for one thing, you'd still be wandering around on the street in your birthday suit!" He glanced at his watch, "Oh, c'mon, Noah. We gotta go."

* * *

**Hey sorry this one was so long, guys! Please remember to review. Anything helps. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Searching

As Noah sat in the car with Thomas, he looked out the window and admired the beautiful sights. It was ordinary, sure, but that was exactly what made it beautiful. "I wonder if I ever lived in a place as beautiful as this." He mumbled to himself.

When they arrived at the hospital, Noah went straight to Dr. Gonzales. She was head of pediatrics so sometimes she was hard to find, but Noah found her within a few minutes. She was sitting with a little boy named Rick. Also a cancer patient, Ricky wasn't looking too great. Immediately, Noah knew who he would be sitting with today.

He walked into the room and said, "Hey there, Ricky. How are you doing today?"

Ricky may have looked bad, but his smile lit up the room, "I'm good Mr. Noah," he said, smiling a toothy (but front toothless) grin. "How are you?"

Noah sat down on the bed and took Ricky's hand. "I'm great. Do you mind if I borrow Dr. Gonzales for a minute?"

Ricky nodded and Noah squeezed his hand, and then followed Dr. Gonzales out of the room. "Is there a problem, Noah?" she asked.

"No no, actually the contrary. I wanted to let you know I would love to take that position that you offered me the other day."

"Well, that's fantastic news!" Dr. Gonzales grinned. "We just need you to fill out these forms," she practically skipped to the nurses' station and Noah followed, "and then we'll need to give you a drug test."

"A drug test?"

"Yeah, it's just to make sure you haven't done anything that would prevent you from working here."

"I suppose that does make sense." Noah thought. "But I assure you, I haven't done anything."

"Oh I don't think you have, honey. I just need to test you anyway. It's just a precaution and it's standard hospital procedure."

"All right, then what do I need to do?"

"I have a few things to do before I get to that, so if you're going to be here all day, I'll just come find you when I'm ready."

"Certainly, I'll just be reading to Ricky."

"Perfect! I'm sure that will do him some good." Dr. Gonzales heard her name from across the room and waved to Noah as she left.

Noah finished filling out all of the required forms and went into Ricky's room. Ricky was flipping through television channels, though apparently not finding anything worthwhile: Wheel of Fortune, Ellen DeGeneres, Days of Our Lives. Nothing a 10 year-old boy would be interested in.

"What's on T.V?" Noah asked anyway.

"Nothing good," Ricky said, switching off the T.V. and tossing the remote to the end of his bed.

"Hey, I have a good idea."

Ricky grinned, "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Noah took a seat on the edge of Ricky's bed. "See, I just happened to bring my favorite book along, and I was wondering if you liked to read." He pulled a small secondhand copy of Alice in Wonderland out of his backpack.

"I love to read!" Ricky beamed.

"Perfect! Should I start reading from the beginning?"

"Of course!" Ricky scooted up in his bed and crossed his legs, motioning for Noah to sit next to him, so Noah moved and began to read.

* * *

"What do you mean, 'It's Cas'?" Dean demanded.

"I mean Castiel is in the background of this picture, Dean. He's reading to some kid," Sam explained.

Dean abruptly pulled over and stopped the car. "Sam if you're screwing with me, I swear to…" he broke off and turned off the car, then snatched the newspaper from Sam. "Holy crap…" He stared at the paper in disbelief. There he was, wearing khakis and a polo, reading to a little bald kid in a wheelchair. How had he missed that? He would never let Sam know this, but he had been looking for Cas ever since Sam had tried to talk to him. Dean hadn't stopped. He wanted his best friend to come back like he always had.

Why didn't God give a crap about him or Cas or Sam anymore, he would wonder. And despite not giving one shit in hell about God, he had prayed every night that somehow Cas would be back. He prayed to Cas sometimes, too. But of course, he didn't expect that Cas would hear him. Angels hadn't heard, much less answered, prayers in over a year. Still, he hoped that somewhere Cas was hearing him.

Of course Sam felt the same way. Since they had met Castiel, their team wasn't the same without him and everything had gone awry now that he was dead. Rescuing Dean from hell had sold Sam on the angel's intentions whether or not it had been an order from Mr. Big Guns Upstairs or not. Any mistakes Castiel had made in the past were forgiven, just like all the mistakes Dean had made, and the many many more that Sam had made along with those.

They were family, and had been for a long time. Things were off and Sam missed how things were. The last year, they had just gotten back to the basic hunting: vampires, ghosts, what leviathan were still left (though those were slightly more difficult to take care of). Other than the occasional group of fallen angels, like the ones that killed Castiel, things were just business-as-usual hunting. They had a home to go back to, and they were all happy. Sam had honestly believed that they might be on the verge of calling it quits, but all those hopes were shattered.

After a long time, Dean cleared his throat and started the car back up. "Well we better go help the poor bastard."

"Dean it looks like Cas is doing just fine. I still think we should take a couple days off, okay?"

Dean sighed a sort of Sam-I-don't-like-it-but-I-guess-I'll-listen-to-you sigh. "All right, fine. We're still going to drive there, though. Suck it up."

* * *

Noah had been reading to Ricky for two days now. They had reached the place where Alice was talking to the caterpillar

"_Well perhaps you haven't found it so yet", said Alice, "but when you have to turn into a chrysalis—you will someday, you know—and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little but queer, won't you?"_

"I hate to interrupt the beautiful story," Dr. Gonzales came into the room looking worried, "but I'm afraid I'm going to have to take Mr. Noah away for the day. Is that all right with you, Ricky?"

Ricky smiled and nodded as Noah put away the book, "I'll come back tomorrow, all right?"

"See you then, Mr. Noah!"

Noah closed the door behind him and asked, "Is something wrong, Dr. Gonzales? Is everything all right with the job?"

Dr. Gonzales stared at her feet with her arms crossed. "No, Noah. You're still allowed to have the job, but I'm afraid I may have found out something about your past."

"Wait really? How?"

"There was an officer from Massachusetts in here earlier visiting his niece."

"Well what did he say? Did he recognize me? Were we related somehow?"

"Not exactly, Noah. He said he had arrested you and two of your friends."

Noah's heart sank. He looked down to his feet, "You're kidding me," he breathed.

"He said it was only trespassing, and you three were let go, but he looked pretty upset, you might want to talk to him."

"Yeah. Yeah thanks, I'll do that." Without saying goodbye he walked hurriedly down the hall, only to stop abruptly, "Who is he visiting?"

"He's with a little girl names Lulu Rockfeld. She's in room three-oh-two."

"Thank you, Dr. Gonzales," Noah said and walked briskly in the direction of room 302.

Walking to the door of the room, he saw a little girl asleep on the bed, and a very large man sitting next to her, holding her hand.

"Excuse me, sir," Noah said, shifting nervously at the entrance. "I was told that you recognized me earlier and I wanted to know if you could tell me," he laughed, "tell me about myself."

Without speaking, the man stood up, cleared his throat, and walked past Noah, motioning him to follow. Noah turned to follow and was surprised when the man was standing almost directly behind him.

The man spoke in a hushed yet stern voice, "You listen to me, Castiel. We had a deal that you would stay away from me and my family."

"What? Castiel? What are you—"?

"What's going on this time, huh? Another shtriga? Something else?"

"Sir, I don't have any idea what you're—".

The man took Noah's shirt around his collar and gripped it, shoving him up against the shatter-proof glass of the hospital room window. "Don't you lie to me!" The man was still whispering, but it came out with the force of a scream.

Noah was completely overwhelmed. He glanced nervously to the nurses' station, one of the pediatric nurses had the phone in her hand and Noah read "Security?" on her lips. He quickly shook his head and motioned for her to stop, waiting until she had nodded and hung up the phone to talk to the man. "Please sir, I really don't know what you're talking about," he said calmly.

The man released Noah, looking more surprised than anything.

Noah continued, "About three months ago, I was found in the road. I didn't have any memory. I'm just trying to figure out who I was." Noah had his hands up by his head, still in the "I have no weapons" pose.

"I'm…" the man sputtered, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I'm sorry. I just…my niece is sick. When I saw you here, I thought maybe you had something to do with it." He put his hand to his forehead and ran his fingers through his hair. "Just…come with me. I'll tell you everything I know."


	5. Collision

Dean could barely sit still. The thought that his best friend was out there, alive after months thinking he was dead was almost too much to handle. He twiddled his thumbs, he flipped through the television channels neither paying attention nor caring what was on the screen. Sam sat easily at the table in their motel room, on his computer. Finally, fed up, Dean turned off the T.V. and threw the remote to the edge of his bed. In one fluid motion he managed to leap off his bed and make it to the door.

Grabbing his jacket he said, "Sammy, I'm going out."

"Dean, you're not going to see Cas." Sam stated simply.

"The hell I'm not." Dean's hand was now on the doorknob.

"Dean," Sam said, closing his computer. "You said we were going to take a few days off."

"I am taking a few days off; I'm just going to visit Cas. That's relaxing," Dean opened the door and left. He wasn't particularly in the mood to get in a fight with Sam right now.

* * *

Noah sat in complete silence and awe. He had always thought he was probably just some regular guy. Maybe with a family. But a, how had this man put it, a hunter? He had never seen this coming.

"Castiel?" The officer put a hand on Noah's shoulder. "Castiel are you all right?"

"Castiel," Noah murmured. I suppose I should start going by that name now, he thought to himself. "Castiel." He tried it on. It felt strange in his mouth, but somehow he knew it was right. He looked up at the officer. "Thank you," he smiled. "I appreciate you telling me all this. I hope your niece gets better." With that, he stood up and walked to the bathroom.

He stood there for a long time, just staring at himself in the mirror with his hands braced on the sides of the sink. He didn't know how long he was there. Long enough, apparently, for someone to come looking for him.

Thomas walked in, but Noa—Castiel barely noticed him. "Noah," he breathed, sounding relieved, "Noah we've been looking all over for you. Then Dr. Gonzales said she'd seen you come in here. Is something wrong?"

"Castiel. My name is Castiel." Castiel gripped the sink tighter, he wasn't feeling well.

"Did you remember that?' Thomas asked excitedly. Castiel could see his expression light up in the mirror.

"No. A man visiting his niece saw me and recognized me from somewhere. He told me all he know about me."

"And?"

"Apparently I was some sort of vigilante, fighting crime or what have you with two other men."

"Well, were you in some sort of trouble?" Thomas said, attempting to overcome his surprised expression.

"According to this man, he is an officer of the law, we had been arrested for trespassing, but were released because we helped him sort out some problem the town had."

"But that's a good thing, right?"

"He said we killed something called a shtriga. An immortal type of witch or that feed on childrens' life force."

As Castiel said this, Thomas's eyes widened and he immediately went to the door and locked it. "Listen to me, Castiel. Don't tell anyone else about this, okay?" He whispered.

"You got used to that name quickly—wait, why?" Castiel said, mimicking Thomas's hushed tones.

"Because there are people out there who want to kill you. You're a very special man."

"You're not telling me you actually believe that man?"

"Of course I believe him. At least the part about you being a vigilante."

"Why?"

"Last year, I was possessed by a demon, and you and your friends helped me."

"A demon?!" Castiel practically yelled in surprise.

Thomas shushed him. "Yes, a demon. But you saved me."

"You're serious? Then did you bring me here?"

"No, it was just a happy coincidence that I found you."

* * *

_I need to get home, I think. I know Rachel will be furious if I'm late for dinner again. I turn up the music and nod my head to the beat as I flick on the headlights._

_Pulling onto the street, I notice I'm completely alone on the road. I glance at the clock: 9:05pm—no wonder there's no one on the streets. I drive for a few minutes singing along to the radio before I see it: a bright flashing light in the sky almost directly over me. I lean forward to look up at it. It was brief, like a flash of lightning. How strange, I think._

_Right as I look back down at the road, I see a figure appear twenty feet in front of my car. I slam on the brakes, but to no avail because I still hit whoever it is lightly, knocking him or her over._

_As soon as come to a full stop I turn off the car and run out. "Oh my god, are you okay?" I come around to the front of the car and am shocked to see a man, stark naked, sitting up two feet from my bumper. I go back to the door and get a flashlight and an emergency blanket._

_Upon closer inspection, I find that I know this man! Castiel: one member of the trio who saved me from that demon several months ago._

_"Are you okay?" I repeat, kneeling beside him and covering him with the blanket._

_"Where am I?" he asks._

_"You're in Florence. Florence, Oregon. Don't you remember being here?"_

_He looks up at me with a confused expression, "I don't remember anything." His expression turns to fear, "Who am I? How did I get here?"_

* * *

"Once I realized that you didn't remember anything, I didn't want to interfere. Your life with those men was a dangerous one, and I thought maybe you'd be better off not remembering it. Forgive me."

Castiel put a hand on Thomas's shoulder. "It's all right, I understand. I think you might be right, maybe that life was too dangerous and there's a reason I just showed up here with no memory. Though I think I will keep this name: Castiel. I like it. "

Thomas smiled and unlocked the door, walking out as he did. Castiel followed him.

* * *

Dean waited impatiently at the nurses' station on the first floor of the hospital, newspaper in hand. "Look is he here or not?"

"Sir, you're going to have to wait until we can contact him. He'll come down and speak with you here. We just have to get a hold of pediatrics. Please be patient," one of the nurses informed him.

After a few minutes, Dean wandered off, hoping to find pediatrics on his own. He located a sign that directed him to the third floor. Boarding the elevator, he found he was nervous. What if it wasn't Cas? What if it was just someone who looked like him and they had just gotten their hopes up for nothing.

He stepped off the elevator and saw the nurses' station down the hall, and nearly ran for it. On the way, however, he ran into a man coming out of the men's restroom. Their heads collided and his hand shot up to his forehead, rubbing furiously.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry!" a voice said.

"It's all right, man," Dean said.

"Thomas, are you all right?" another voice said.

Dean recognized this voice. It was low and gravely. He opened his eyes and looked up. Sure enough, there was the familiar dark hair and scrunched expression he hadn't seen in months. "Cas?"


	6. An Unexpected Reunion

Dean stood there stunned for a minute. Nothing could have prepared him for seeing his best friend like this. Three months of thinking he was dead only to show up and find out he was doing fine. Castiel's face was frozen on the expression it last held: a sort of surprised smile. Dean turned his attention to the man he had run into and was greeted with another surprise. "Thomas?" He said in almost the same tone as he spoke Cas's name.

"Dean!" Thomas smiled widely and hugged Dean, making him visibly uncomfortable. "You must be here to see Castiel!" Thomas held Dean at arm's length and looked to Castiel expectantly. After another awkward moment of silence, Thomas slapped Castiel on the back. "This is one of the men you traveled with, Castiel," he said and smiled again.

Castiel saw the man, Dean, wilt a little. He looked down at his feet for a second and then up to Castiel with a smile on his face but pain in his eyes. "Hey, Cas. We missed you, man. How are you?"

"I'm all right. Dean, correct?" Castiel offered his hand for a handshake and Dean looked down at it, taken aback. Reluctantly, he took it.

"Yeah. Dean." Dean nodded and dropped Cas's hand, proceeding to stuff his hands in his jacket pockets. He shouldn't have been surprised that Cas didn't remember him, since it happened the last time Cas came back, but still, Dean was let down. "So, uh, what's the story? How did you get here?"

Castiel followed Dean's lead, putting his hands in his pockets. "I don't know. About three months ago I just showed up naked in the road. I don't remember anything, not who I am or how I got here." He looked to Thomas and said, "Though recently, I've gotten some information about my past activities."

"So you told him?" Dean said to Thomas. He couldn't decide if he was angry or relieved. Cas could, still, have a normal life. But did Dean really want him to?"

Thomas nodded, "I've told him, at least about myself. He spoke with a police officer earlier who told him everything else he knows."

Dean looked to Cas, "So what did he tell you?"

Castiel looked around at all the other people on the floor. Any one of them could potentially hear their conversation. "Could we take this discussion elsewhere? I feel uncomfortable around other people."

"Yeah, you always did," Dean said, smirking at the floor.

"What?"

"Nevermind." Dean looked around. "So where do you want to go?"

"Do you think it would be okay if I left for the day?" Castiel asked Thomas.

"You'll have to talk to Dr. Gonzales about that," Thomas replied. "I can wait here with Dean until you get back." He smiled at both Castiel and Dean.

As Cas walked away, Dean looked nervously at Thomas. "How has he been doing, really?"

Thomas chuckled. "Really he's been great. Other than losing his memory, of course."

"So he hasn't remembered anything at all?"

"Unfortunately, no. He was completely surprised when I mentioned demons to him. Rachel and I have been letting him stay with us and looking out for him." Thomas could see the disappointment on Dean's face. "Don't you worry! There's still a good chance he'll remember. You've just got to give him a little time." He put a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Thanks, Doc." Dean looked down at his feet again. "What did he look like when you found him?"

"Physically? Other than being naked, and having been hit by a car, he was fine. Mentally he didn't remember his name or how he had gotten here. Speaking of, how did he get here?"

Dean looked back up at Thomas, "Well that's the thing…he died."

"What do you mean he died?" Thomas asked, confusion clouding his perpetually cheerful expression.

"I mean he was stabbed in the gut, and we burned his body. He was dead, doc."

Shock flooded Thomas's face as he let the information sink in. Finally, he shook his head, "No, that's impossible."

"This isn't the first time this has happened and it's been just as impossible all those times, too."

"How many times has this happened to him?"

"At least four, I think. He just always miraculously shows back up. We thought he might stay…gone this time, but I guess not."

Thomas thought about this for a moment, but before he had a chance to respond, Castiel walked back over.

"Thomas may I speak with you for a moment?" He said.

"Of course," Thomas was back to smiling.

Castiel put a hand on Thomas's shoulder and led him away. "Dr. Gonzales has given me the next few days off. I'm not sure where I'll stay, but I'll call and let you know."

"Do you need a phone?" Thomas asked, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

"No no, I couldn't possibly—"

"Take it, Castiel. All the numbers you could possibly need are in there. Don't worry about it." Thomas gave Castiel a reassuring wink and thumbs up.

He started to walk away, but Castiel grabbed his arm and whispered, "Can I trust him?"

Thomas laughed quietly, "From what I understand, you traveled with them for years. And Dean in a good man. You'll be fine."

"Thank you, Thomas." Castiel nodded a goodbye and walked over to Dean. Dean looked up as he approached. "So, may I ask where we're going?"

"Well we have a hotel room nearby."

"Who's we? The other man we traveled with?"

The surprise was obvious on Dean's face. "Yeah, my brother, Sam."

"Did we get along, me and Sam?"

Dean laughed, "Yeah, you guys got pretty close after you…" Dean paused, not wanting to reveal too much about Cas's life too fast. Dean didn't want to overwhelm him with the knowledge that he was a fallen angel just yet.

"…Dean?" Cas put a hand on Dean's shoulder and shook a little. "Dean are you all right?"

"Yeah of course. Let's just get to the car. We can talk more when we meet up with Sam."


End file.
